Confide In Me, My Friend
by Wainwright
Summary: After Morgan uttered those surprising words on the plane back from Chicago, he couldn't decipher his feelings. Worried about his friend, Spencer drives him home and lets him confide everything he's kept locked up for the last few days. Releasing his pent-up frustrations, Derek realises why he's lucky to have Reid as his best friend. Spoilers for 8x18 "Restoration".


_**A/N: A little one-shot that came to me after watching Season 8 Episode 18 "Restoration" so spoilers for that. This is just some brotherly love between my two favourite characters and some feelings from Derek. Enjoy!**_

* * *

"_Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." – Hermann Hesse_

After Morgan uttered the surprising announcement, the remainder of the plane ride home was unusually quiet. The only audible sound was the tapping of JJ on her phone and the turning of pages from Reid's book. Derek could immediately tell that their thoughts were still on their stressful last few days in Chicago and what he'd said minutes – or maybe hours – ago.

_Carl Buford is dead._

Momentarily tearing his gaze from the window, Morgan looked to each of his teammates in turn. Rossi; the file he was supposedly completing was still opened at the same place from when he last spoke and the older man would shoot him concerned glances every once in a while when he thought he wouldn't notice. Turning to his right, Derek observed Hotch not even trying to hide the fact he was deep in thought as he simply stared down at his entwined hands in his lap with a deep frown. Across from their boss, Reid sat with a tattered well-read book in his hands, seemingly perusing it with concentration. However, Morgan had known him long enough to tell he wasn't reading it nearly fast enough and was simultaneously thinking with that massive brain of his while keeping up the façade that he wasn't still running over everything from the last case. Behind the genius, Blake was evidently torn between trying to plan her next lecture and staring absent-mindedly out of her window because she frequently alternated between the two while emitting a light sigh. Across the walkway, JJ sat with her legs tucked under herself, texting on her mobile most likely to her husband and during her wait for a response, she would twirl a piece of her long blonde hair around her finger and worry her bottom lip with her teeth.

4 words and the relaxed atmosphere had dissipated.

Were they thinking about Buford?

Were they worrying about Morgan?

In most cases it was both.

For the two people on the plane who hadn't known of the incident 6 years ago, there was a variety of feelings but one common thought: Morgan is stronger than they imagined. Having known him for years, 'Uncle' Dave found that this revelation of Derek's past actually filled in a few gaps like why Morgan held such anger against certain UnSubs and his degree of compassion toward child victims. As the newest member of the team, Alex found that the disclosure of her colleague's childhood added another depth to his character and reminded her that while they were all profilers, there were always parts of each other that they'd never surmised.

Taking a deep breath, Derek once again fixed his dark chocolate eyes on the view outside his window and let the relief wash over him. It was over. Buford was dead. He'd told the truth to the media and his friends but he wasn't quite sure if he felt all that better.

He just wanted to get home and ignore the world for a few days while he tried to decipher his emotions.

* * *

"Morgan?" Reid tried to get his friend's attention while not startling him as he called his name in a soft tone. Morgan stared resolutely unblinking ahead as he crossed the tarmac of the landing strip in silence.

"Reid?" Spencer opened his mouth to reply before noting it wasn't his friend who'd spoken but someone else. Turning to his left, the genius spotted his boss looking over himself and Morgan with a concerned gaze.

"I'm going to drive him home, Hotch. He's a bit out of it."

"I think that's a good idea. Make sure he knows he can call if he needs me. I'll see you Monday and Morgan when he feels up to it. He can take some time if he needs." Reid nodded in agreement with a small smile.

"Have a good weekend, Hotch."

"You too." With a swift nod in farewell, Hotch entered his SUV, Rossi following behind him after waving to the youngest agent.

Spencer turned his gaze back to his right at the sound of grumbling and rustling as Morgan scoured his pockets and bag for his keys. "Morgan?" The older man continued his investigation of hiding places as Reid smiled a little sadly. Normally adverse to physical contact, he shook it off as he reached out and placed his hand lightly on Derek's broad shoulder. The mumbling stopped abruptly as he turned to his skinny friend with a quizzical expression.

"Hmmm?"

"How about I drive us, okay? I'll take you home." After a grunt and a soft nod, Reid reached into the usual zipped pocket of Derek's bag and produced the keys to the vehicle in front of them. Morgan regarded him carefully like he wanted to shout that he wasn't stupid and had known they were in there the entire time but Spencer made no inclination he thought such a thing and simply proceeded to enter the driver's seat once his own belongings were placed in the back. With a huff, the older man joined him and Reid pulled away from the airstrip and headed in the direction of Morgan's home.

* * *

The journey was silent as Reid kept his eyes on the road ahead and Morgan fixed his on the view outside of his window. Spencer wasn't entirely sure the other man was aware of a seeming tension building within the confines of the vehicle but the young genius felt suffocated. Common knowledge of Derek meant his friends were aware he needed to vent and talk about his issues but getting him to open up was difficult in itself. Finally pulling into the driveway next to Morgan's motorbike, Reid killed the engine and sat back into the plush seat. The car remained noiseless as neither made any attempt to exit the SUV and Derek remained as impassive and unresponsive as ever.

Loud and gruff barking at the window startled the two passengers and Clooney could be seen excitedly awaiting their entrance. Deciding to end the stalemate, Spencer cleared his throat and that seemed to rouse his companion from his thoughts as he turned to regard him carefully.

"Would- Would you like me to stay? I can just leave you to your thoughts though if that's what you… you know… want." Reid looked down at his clasped hands as he heard Derek's long and drawn out sigh. Perhaps wallowing in his uncertainty wasn't a good thing and if there was one thing he knew about Spencer, it was his ability to remain patient, listen and offer helpful advice.

"No, Kid. I would actually appreciate if you stayed tonight. Not sure I really want to be on my own with nothing but my memories right now." Glancing at each other, they wordlessly agreed and departed the vehicle, collecting their things before heading up the few steps to the door. Hunting in his pocket for only a moment, Morgan produced his key and thrust his key into the lock before halting and turning to the younger agent beside him.

"You gonna' be okay with Clooney? I can put him out of the way before you come in if you prefer?"

Truthfully animals usually took an instant disliking to Reid and he was often wary of them in return. Aptly deemed '_The Reid effect' _it was something that occurred without him trying but he felt terrible for inconveniencing Derek so Spencer simply shook his head and muttered an unsure 'it's fine'. He'd been around Clooney on several occasions but not normally for very long as Derek knew it made him uncomfortable. With a shrug, the older agent opened the door and bustled over the threshold to greet the bouncing German Shepherd. As Morgan shrugged off his jacket and bag and began playfully wrestling his dog, the first smile since the phone call on the jet graced his features. It was remarkable how happy he could appear in such a swift moment and Reid failed to subdue his own smile as Clooney bounded up to him a moment later.

"Don't worry Pretty Boy, he still doesn't bite. He just likes to know who his owner is associating with. Besides, you haven't been around in a while; you just need to get reacquainted." That soft smile still in place, Morgan turned and headed into his kitchen to grab the two of them some drinks as Spencer cautiously petted Clooney on the head. Much to his surprise, the dog licked his hand affectionately and proceeded to follow him once the young genius decided to wander into his friend's sitting room.

Plopping himself down on a thick cushion of the couch, Reid glanced around and familiarised himself with the surroundings. It seemed Derek liked consistency because his furniture remained the same and only a few photographs were new additions to the large living space. Across from Spencer sat Morgan's very large television with a modern styled glass coffee table strewn with papers and magazines in between. To his left was the door he'd entered through and to the left of that was a thin wooden bookcase which was neatly filled but not over flowing like many of his own. Behind him was the archway into the kitchen that sported chrome finished classy appliances and a humming Derek Morgan. Perhaps he was feeling better. Turning to take a look at the older man, Reid spotted a photograph on the wall to the right of him of the entire team taken only a year ago. Prentiss. She was sat in the middle, an arm around JJ and the other around Morgan, Derek had a brilliantly wide smile as he ruffled Spencer's hair, Garcia was kissing JJ's cheek as Hotch and Rossi kneeled down in the front. It was one of Reid's favourites that Derek had and he often stared at it when he visited.

"Reid? You okay?" Derek asked, his brow furrowed lightly as he stopped just before the leather settee and took in the item that had ensnared the younger man's attention.

"Hmm? Yeah, Morgan, I'm fine. I miss her, you know?" Morgan nodded thoughtfully as he finally joined Spencer and passed him a drink.

"I do, Kid. She knew just the right thing to say and made you smile even at the darkest times." Removing his attention from the team photograph, he tuned in to one below it of simply him and Emily. As a joke and to blow off steam, they'd gone drinking and salsa dancing and the memory never failed to make Morgan grin. "So, movie?"

Spencer nodded excitedly and shuffled into a comfortable position. "You pick." The older man regarded him carefully, knowing he was probably taking pity on him. Most times when they were choosing a movie involved a skilful debate between the two with pros and cons of varying suggestions and now Reid was just letting him choose? Morgan wanted to roll his eyes but he knew it would only result in a scowl from his companion. "Weren't you going to show me _Rocky_?"

"Seriously? You wanna watch that?"

"It's one of your favourites though, right? You let me win last time and we watched _Back to the Future _so this time we watch what you fancy." Spencer gave him the sweetest grin he could muster and Derek involuntarily cracked a smile.

"Fair enough, Pretty Boy." Pulling himself reluctantly from the couch, Morgan pattered over to his DVD case and pulled out their desired movie. "Wow me with your facts, Genius."

"Released 3rd of December 1976; runtime is 119 minutes; starring Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Carl Weathers and Burgess Meredith; directed by John G. Avildsen…"

"Okay, alright, you know your stuff. Save the rest for later and just enjoy." Derek laughed, ruffling his friend's hair and flopping down onto the couch once more after setting the DVD to play.

"Popcorn, good sir?" Spencer inquired, already standing and meandering to the kitchen.

"Mhmm, in the-."

"Cupboard on the left - second shelf. Yes, Morgan." The two laughed as Derek glanced over his shoulder at his guest.

"Damn, Kid. Why don't you just move in? You seem well acquainted with my food." That evoked another chuckle from the men as Morgan turned back around to see Clooney settle at his feet. A few minutes later, Reid plopped into the vacated space beside his friend as the movie began and they were drawn in.

* * *

Half an hour into the movie, Spencer turned almost imperceptibly toward his counterpart and a smile tugged at his lips as he observed a very relaxed Derek Morgan. A beer in hand and feet resting on the table, the older man was practically a part of the couch as the cushions happily absorbed him into their comfortable embrace. Reid knew that relaxation would disperse the moment he brought up their last case but he felt like Morgan needed to voice his feelings. Deciding to save any questions for later, he resumed watching the movie with a light sigh and settled in for another hour and a half.

* * *

Precisely 119 minutes after they'd sat down, Derek let out a delighted sigh and turned to his friend beside him. "Well, Pretty Boy? Has your massive brain decided on a 'yay' or 'nay' verdict?" Reid remained thoughtful and motionless for several more moments before giving a satisfied nod.

"I think… yay." The men simultaneously broke out into wide grins and Morgan patted the young genius' shoulder.

"Good choice." With a light laugh, he began tidying up the table from their mess and the already existent clutter.

"Morgan?" Reid started softly, picking at his fingernails while he looked up at his friend. Derek could tell immediately by his tone that his time was up and the genius wanted answers. He nodded absently while heading toward the kitchen.

"I'll make us some coffee and we'll chat, 'kay?"

"Hot cocoa, if you don't mind? You make the best, by far."

Eliciting a soft chuckle, he nodded again. "I forgot you only come to my house for my cocoa. I should have known really."

"Morgan! I come for others things like movie nights, chess, entertainment and useless conversations over the probability of science-fiction technology being replicated for use in reality." The thin man crossed his arms stubbornly and resisted the urge to pout because it usually only made Derek laugh more. The older man snorted in amusement regardless before waving a hand carelessly.

"Alright, I accept that I'm great company. No need to shove it all up in my face, Pretty Boy. I'm hearing you." With a grin that could melt hearts – effectively showing his more cheerful attitude to the situation – he began bustling around the kitchen making their requested beverages.

Several minutes later, Morgan returned with two mugs in hand and a little heavier step. _At least talking to Reid is better than a therapist, _he would reiterate to himself mentally. Carefully sitting, he flicked off his television and gave Spencer his full attention by turning in his seat to face him.

"Well ask away then." He offered, finding his coffee spoon suddenly rather interesting.

"How… How are you feeling?"

"Oh, wonderfully peachy." Derek retorted sarcastically causing the younger man to wince. Sighing, he held back his gruff tone and continued more softly. "You might want to be more specific."

"Okay. He's gone. So, what is your reaction? Are you relieved or angry?" Spencer worried his bottom lip with his teeth, literally dragging his words out of anywhere hoping to make some headway. His companion emitted yet another sigh but he sensed it was one of acceptance at needing to speak.

"I feel guilty."

"Morgan… you shouldn't… it's not your fault…"

"Isn't it?" Reid tilted his head and regarded him carefully not quite understanding his friend's logic. "Listen, I spent a good chunk of my childhood wishing that man dead. If he just dropped off the Earth no one would have to know and I could pretend it never happened and get on with my life. It was a pretty dreadful thought to have so young but I felt every kind of negative emotion and it was all him. He ruined my life and my innocence and I wanted revenge. Simple as that. When I became a cop and I saw everything on those streets, I realised a fair few things. A; Death was never good thing despite the pathetic human beings that live on this planet committing hideous crimes. B; His head on a stick was never going to bring the closure I sought. Only I could achieve that and to do so I had to let go of everything, including my hate for him and myself." Placing his cup down on the table, he rubbed a hand over his tired face and leaned back into the cushions for a moment.

"I let go of that so I could move on. Six years ago, I had to drag everything back up and having people know made me sick. Literally, I think I vomited at least twice at the thought of you guys finding out. But we nailed his ass to the wall and sent him to that tiny little cell for the foreseeable future. I felt like I'd won the war at last. Then we go back again and I have to tell Blake and Rossi - which twisted my insides to hell, I might add – and visit his rat hole myself. After everything with the case, I couldn't handle the lies anymore. I thought that it was all in my head but my secrecy was eating at me slowly. So, what do I do? I go outside and profess my crap to the world, risking my bad-ass reputation and shattering my family's thoughts of me. Where does that get me? A lighter heart and a spring in my step. Where does that get Carl Buford? Dead. His wonderful cellmates probably heard my speech and nailed him not three hours later. That's my reaction, Reid." Huffing away the suffocating air in his lungs, he felt much lighter and freer after dumping out all his feelings that were a tangled web of complications. He felt like he'd returned to just after the press release when everything was out in the open and done with.

"You said probably."

"I just ranted for five minutes and that's what you pick up on?" Derek stared at Reid incredulously, unable to formulate any other words.

"That was a tad insensitive. I'm sorry." He smiled weakly but knew he needed to convince his colleague of his innocence with the truth. "But, you did say probably. Do you really believe that's the only plausible way they could have uncovered his true nature? People talk and word could have gotten through the guards or his cellmates. He could have even slipped up himself and revealed enough for someone to piece it all together. I can't prove my theory or disprove yours but _you_ don't have _proof_ that you initiated his demise in any way." Morgan dropped his gaze, turning over Reid's words in his mind. "Trust me, Morgan, blaming yourself will get you nowhere. Especially now. He's gone. Completely gone. He can't mess with your mind anymore. It's time to let go. Really let go of all the baggage he's weighed you down with. I know you can't ever forget what happened. I'm not telling you to. I'm telling you to forgive yourself and let Carl Buford rot in hell like you know he deserves. You're a better man than he is and releasing his control of you will show that to everyone."

Derek Morgan finally felt relief wash over him. It felt… permanent and unrelenting this time. A new version of himself where his heart wouldn't leap to his throat and the mention of one man's name. As he set his gaze back on Reid he was met with his previous reassurances. Spencer had never changed the way he acted toward him after the Buford case all those years ago. He was never revolted at the thought of Derek like his tormentor always said would happen if people knew the truth. He was his friend and now more than ever, Derek revelled in the contentment their friendship brought him.

"What would I do without you, Pretty Boy?" He asked, his lips lightly tugging upward into the start of a smile.

"Erm… vent to Clooney?" The dog glanced up at the mention of his name and both men let out light laughs.

"Thanks, Kid."

"Anytime, Morgan."

"So, tell me. What did you really think of _Rocky_?" As Spencer began reeling off his thoughts and recommendations, Derek sat back and allowed his mind to finally forget the last few days and enjoy an evening of light-hearted discussion with a friend.

"_A friend should be one in whose understanding and virtue we can equally confide, and whose opinion we can value at once for its justness and its sincerity." – Robert Hall_

* * *

_**A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed this little delve into their friendship and please leave a review on your thoughts! :)**_


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